Priorities
by freefall82
Summary: [UPDATED] Liv has a brother now and has to rethink her priorities if she wants a shot at a family. Even if that means leaving the SVU and her partner. EO. Rated as it is just to be safe. I suck at summaries and titles, so please R & R!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys. Ok, this is my first fic ever and I normally don't ever let anyone read my stuff, which basically translates into I have no idea what I'm doing. So please don't judge too harshly!

**Disclaimer:**

These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC etc. They are not mine (if they were, you could bet your life Olivia and Elliot would be together by now)

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Simon Marsden. Young man. Lives with girlfriend and her son. Works the night shift at a pharmacy. Long lost brother. And until a few days ago, suspected rapist. Liv sighed and regarded the contents of her cup remorsefully; cursing the day she had given up caffeine. You sure as hell needed something stronger than Lipton tea to last the day in the Special Victims Unit. Life in the SVU was hard enough between all the men you met thinking you're perverted and being slapped in the face with the colossal downfalls of humanity everywhere you turned. And Elliot.

Liv aimed her now empty cup at the bin closest to the bench she was sitting on. She was most certainly not in the mood to open up _that_ can of worms. For Elliot Stabler was a minefield of problems all on his own. He was unstable, unpredictable, insecure and her lifeline. The last was by far the biggest problem. That and the fact that Liv could only lie to herself for so long and eight years was long enough. She could no longer tell herself that she felt nothing for the man beyond friendship and believe it. And damn him too, for giving her reason to hope – as she had barely ever allowed herself before.

Olivia looked out over the park and a memory presented itself form the corner of her mind she'd thought she had safely locked up. It was almost a year ago now – the Gitano case. It had been tough for all of them, as every case was. But this was the one that broke her. But it wasn't the sight of Ryan's dead body, or those of his family that had Liv hovering dangerously on the edges of her mind. Though those faces and bodies did join the others in her nightmares – more lives she hadn't been able to save.

No, this time it was her partner. It was Elliot and the ultimatum he had delivered; stop working together, or stop caring. Because basically, that's what he had said. He had been pushing her away for a while and Liv had known that, but that had been the final touch. He had said those words and Liv had felt her heart unravel. What he said next had stayed with her during those nights when her life seemed just a pathetic lie and she searched desperately for a reason to get out of bed the next morning, 'You and this job are the only things I have left. I can't screw that up.'

He had set her aching heart racing then and she knew not what part of that to focus on. Was it that he said _you_ and this job? For surely she was part of the job. Surely it was the same thing? Or was it that he couldn't screw it up? Screw what up? His job? Or their relationship? Olivia was so lost in her thoughts she had almost missed the next words out of his mouth as he stood up to leave, 'I couldn't take it.'

So softly, Liv scarcely dared to believe they were spoken at all. She had sat on that hospital bench until time evaporated into the distance, her insides raged in a tumult of emotions. Finally, her face wet and her mind a broken mess, she came to a decision, the hardest she'd ever made. Olivia couldn't stop caring for him, she just couldn't. So she had told Cragen she wanted out.

Their relationship had never recovered. Not really, anyway. She had returned of course, as she had known deep down she would, but only to abandon him a matter of months later. And now what? Liv asked herself. There he was again, when she needed him the most. He was there, the protective support of a friend she would have been lost without. But she couldn't even be happy with that. Seeing him refuse to answer Cragen when their boss had so directly asked what they had been thinking running off to New Jersey had made Liv's insides churn.

It had been only a couple of years ago that Kathy had left him after all. And had Liv been there for him in that same way? Absolutely not. She had watched him fall; she had half-heartedly reached out a hand, knowing full well he wouldn't take it. For what? For fear of dragging her down with him? Well Liv should have tried harder. She should have jumped in after him, been the friend that he needed her to be and that she had once been.

Now they were here, at Simon and in a bizarre twist, Liv found that now she was the one with the family and he was the one left utterly alone. Liv closed her eyes, it was all too much. Suddenly, her phone rang, startling her out of her reverie.

'Benson.'

'Olivia, we've got a case. 32 year old woman was raped at her home this morning. She's at the hospital now, Munch and Fin just left to interview her. I need you back at the precinct.'

'I'm on my way, Captain.' Heaving one final sigh, Liv got up and left her personal problems at the park bench, readying herself for another case, another victim. Another nightmare.

She walked into the precinct ten minutes later, pushing her hair out of her eyes and making straight for the table with the tea and coffee and pouring herself more tea. Elliot watched her go, concern clouding his mind. His partner had changed, perhaps irreversibly so.

Since Liv had returned from that case with the feds there was something different about almost every aspect of her. Her hair – caught back in a dark ponytail- her clothes, the tension that laced her body. When she had walked through the door that first time after their weeks apart, Elliot had known a moment of relief and he had felt almost two months of anxiety lift from his body. But the indifferent glance she had casually thrown his way had snatched the relief back out of his grip. Something was wrong. Olivia had slammed a door in his face before they'd even had a chance to say hello and it had left him reeling.

His bewilderment had swiftly cleared however, after that first case they worked as partners again and Elliot couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before. Dani. Of course Liv knew. What other explanation could there be for the distance she had wasted no time placing between them?

Liv sat across from him now, with a cup of tea and a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, but one he would treasure all the same.

'Hey. So where are we on the case?' She began.

'Victim's name is Joanne Mitchell, her neighbour found her raped and beaten this morning. Munch and Fin are talking to her which leaves us to start retracing her steps before the attack.'

'Boyfriend?'

'Not that we know of. But she's very close to her sister. So I guess we start there. See if her sister had seen or at least heard from her anytime before it happened.'

'Ok, let's get going.'

They were in the car and on the way to the victim's sister's house before Elliot could work up the courage to ask her.

'So, Liv. Spoken to Marsden lately?' he kept his eyes carefully focused on the road, aware that she would most likely lash out at him for sticking his nose where they both knew it didn't belong instead of answering the question. Though to his surprise, she didn't.

'Yeah, actually. We're going out to dinner tomorrow night.'

This time Elliot did chance a look at her and noticed with some comfort the small, hopeful smile that played on her lips.

'You really want a relationship with this guy, don't you?'

'He's my brother, Elliot. He's the only family I've got and besides he's – he's nice. We probably didn't get off on the right foot, what with me thinking he's a rapist and everything. But this deserves a shot, don't you think?'

They were pulling up to Joanne's sister's home now and Elliot was sorry to have to cut the conversation short, especially since it had been the first time in what had been way too long that Liv had spoken to him this freely. As she made to get out of the car, Elliot couldn't help but grab her arm gently.

'Hey, Liv.' He told her with as much warmth as he could muster, 'Good for you.'

This time the smile she gave him did reach her eyes, and it was enough to put one on his face for the rest of the day.

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Well, that's chapter one. Please let me know what you think so I can decide whether this is worth continuing!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

Hey guys!

First of all, thank you all sooooo much for the reviews! They were all much appreciated :)

Secondly, I'm not so sure about this chapter, I don't really like it, but I thought I'd put it up anyway the first one is way better though, so I'm sorry if this disappoints!

Thirdly I am giving you all a heads up now, this is not a very e/o chapter, I'm kind of trying to establish other things going on in Liv's life too, so Elliot doesn't feature much here (I'm sorry!)

**Disclaimer:**

We all know the drill; it ain't mine, blah blah blah, etc etc etc

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Liv checked the mirror one more time and wondered why she was fretting over her appearance so much. It's not like her and Simon hadn't met before and besides, she looked fine.

What would Elliot think of how she looked? The thought crept into her mind unbidden and Olivia turned away from the mirror in frustration. It seemed like there wasn't anything she could do anymore without thinking of him and it drove her mad. When had she become so dependent? Liv checked her watch, pushing her partner resolutely from her thoughts – 5:42. She had arranged to meet Simon at 6. Her stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch. Enough, Liv thought forcefully, there was nothing to be anxious about. Taking a steadying breath, she grabbed her coat and left the apartment before she could change her mind.

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She walked into the diner soon after and cast a look around. Her brother was already there, sitting in a window booth and Liv was relieved to see he looked as nervous as she felt. He hadn't seen her yet, so Liv made her way over to him.

'Hey.' She said, offering him an easy smile as she slid into the booth.

He looked up, startled 'Hey.'

'Have you ordered yet?' she asked, determined no to have them lapse into an awkward silence.

'No, I thought I'd wait for you. Anyway, I only got here a few minutes ago.'

'Well in that case, I strongly recommend a burger and fries. This place makes the best in town, trust me.'

He gave her a hesitant smile, 'I do.'

Liv gave a small laugh at that and as they ordered, she felt the tension that had been so thick in the air before begin to dissipate. He spoke to her of his family growing up, what school had been like, what he had always wanted to do with his life. He told her about little things too, things that didn't matter, like the time when he was seven years old, he had put a hole in his mother's bedroom wall and sworn to her it had been the dog. Liv found that these were the things she enjoyed hearing about the most, for she was rather in short supply of light stories herself.

When Liv had been seven, she remembered that her mother had almost put a hole through _her_ bedroom wall by falling into it. That was because she had been blind drunk and afterwards, Liv had had to get her to bed and clean up the mess she had left. But that wasn't something she was particularly keen on sharing with her brother. She didn't want to have him burdened with stories of her hell of a childhood. Nor did she want to tell him about the hell that Liv had checked herself into as an adult – the SVU.

But that was a part of her life that he knew existed, so he kept asking, insisting that he had long ago grown tired of his own voice and that surely, she had too. This was far from true, but eventually, Liv eased open, just a little.

She tried to keep to the lighter side of her job, telling him about Cragen, about Munch and his endless conspiracy theories and how he and Fin were practically an old married couple. She told him about Casey's fiery manner at court and the gentle, reassuring Huang. And she told him about Elliot. Though Liv was careful not to cover him in too much detail. But Simon wanted to delve deeper, he wanted to know about the cases and the victims. So unwillingly, Liv told him about Joanne Mitchell. At one point, she looked up from her plate to find him staring at her intently.

'What?' she asked.

Simon shook his head, 'How do you do it? How can you keep working there day in, day out for so long?' when Liv said nothing, he added quietly, 'More importantly, why?'

'Someone has to, Simon.' This was the standard response that every SVU cop gave and she had said it without thinking, after a moment she decided to elaborate, 'And for every life you save, it makes you feel like yours is worth living.'

'And for every life you don't?'

She looked away from him and out the window. He would never know the countless nights she had lost as that question loomed in the forefront of her mind; every second it remained unanswered was another bit of her sanity it would claim. Liv didn't want to ruin what had been a great night, so she painted her smile back into place and met his somewhat concerned gaze.

'Do you think you could fit dessert?'

Simon took the hint and wordlessly conceded with a laugh, 'Maybe just an ice cream.'

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'She wouldn't go out with you so you took what was yours by force, right? Isn't that what happened James? You couldn't take the rejection and her laughing in your face, so you raped her!'

'NO! That's not what happened, I swear to God! I didn't touch her, I swear!'

Elliot threw the pictures of Joanne Mitchell's broken body on the table for James Miller to see. He nearly had the bastard, he could feel it.

'Please, stop it! Stop! I swear I never touched her!'

'Do you know what they do to rapists in prison James?'

'Stop! I want a lawyer!'

Elliot's temper flared dangerously. Damn, he had been so close! Fighting the insane urge to grab Miller and shake a confession from him, Elliot leaned forward so that they were inches apart.

'A lawyer isn't going to save you, _Jimmy_.'

On the other side of the glass, Liv shook her head, if only she had been in there too, the pressure they both would have been putting on Miller would surely have been enough to make him crack. But after her display with Thatcher, Liv could hardly fault Cragen for his reluctance to allow her to interrogate anyone. But then again, Liv thought as she watched Elliot stalk out of the interrogation room, his rage palpable, it wasn't like her partner was exactly Ghandi or anything.

'Don't worry Ell, we'll get him.'

'Yeah' He replied grudgingly and Liv ducked her head to hide a smile. At times, he really was like a petulant child cheated of candy. Elliot took a calming breath and glanced across at her.

'How did it go with Marsden?' he asked, wondering again why he couldn't bring himself to call the guy by his first name.

Liv looked up at him, some level of content showing in her dark eyes. 'Great.' She said quietly and though Elliot burned to know more, he knew better than to push. Gazing at her, he found that, for the time being, it was actually enough for him that she seemed happy.

'Guys, how did it go with Miller?' Cragen asked, appearing at the doorway.

'He lawyered up.'

'Alright, well get yourselves to my office. The both of you.'

After Cragen left Elliot gave Olivia a worried look, 'You didn't-'

'I haven't done anything.' She said, half to herself. She was as perplexed as he, and then it came to her in a sickening rush – their evaluations. The ones that Cragen had made them both take before he made a decision. The decision about whether or not Olivia and Elliot were fit to work together anymore.

She turned to her partner, 'Elliot…'

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Yeah, see what I mean? But still, tell me what you think! Please do review! And I'll try and make the next chapter better. 


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